Life on the Edge---.
>> Saturday, November 25, 2006 ; 9:20 PM
The past two months...
Wow. Over two months have passed since my last post. Time sure flies, huh?
I've been dead in my net life lately. I'm not as active as I was over two months ago. Quite a lot of things happened. It's not like those in my previous posts that it has been happy, or whatever. These past two months have been a series of ups and downs: learning to be independent, recovering from a loss, hanging on to God, and appreciating the unexpected blessings He gives when you thought He had indeed taken something away.
I really want to laugh because God had (and is continuing) to make me grow as a person. In the previous months, there were times when I would just want to give up, lose hope... be miraculously sick one day in order to be absent from school. School was, and still is, intoxicating. For the past two weeks, I was fed up from school. My brain couldn't study any longer. It wanted to explode. I had headaches, making me study less. Sometimes, tears wanted to drop from my eyes because I wanted to give up so badly, but everytime I see my parents, I know I cannot disappoint them. I needed to survive school. Everytime they talk to me and try to comfort me, this idea flash in my brain: "When I get through these sufferings, I'll look at them as the past, and I'll laugh and smile because I know I made it."
My first pet, Prince (dog), was supposed to celebrate his 9th birthday last Wednesday, November 22. (I cannot believe I'm starting to cry right now just talking about my dog.) He died over a month ago, last October 11 (which coincidentally is my cousin Nikka's 9th birthday), at about noon. I already knew that he was going away soon, but I don't want to talk about it. No matter what other people say, he will always be special to me. I knew something was wrong when I arrived home and I did not see him in his usual spot (in the entrance to our door), yet I never bothered asking anyone about what happened to him. I knew something was wrong. I was scared to find out exactly what that is, I knew that knowing the truth at that time (it was our last day of exam the next day) will make me lose my will to study. When my mother fetched me from school at my last day of examination, she then told me what happened to my dear pet. Of course, I cried. Who wouldn't? Yes, he is old. I knew he had a hard time roaming about the house. He didn't have the same strength he had back in the good old days. I also wanted him to rest. God gave Prince a lot of chances to live (yes, he almost died a lot of times.. about 3-4 times), and I cried each time. This time, even if I cried, it was different. This time I was prepared for what happened. Unlike the previous times when I cried because I did not want to let go yet, I cried because he was my first pet. He's special to me and I'm gonna miss him.
It was a surprise when our mini-schnauzer, Terrie, gave birth to two adorable puppies 6 days later. Who would've knew she was pregnant? I mean... she is so FAT. Nobody would know that she finally got hit by Toby, our pomeranian. (My tears have dried up now. I'm in a happy mood once again. ^_^) When I found out that Pie (I fondly call Prince "Pie") died, I said that I didn't like to have a new dog for a while. We still have 2 left anyway, and 3 dogs had been a handful. But unfortunately, (haha. Unfortunately indeed) God makes ways alright. He took away one, he replaced it with two, and it was an express replacement. ^_^ He is indeed an awesome God. I cannot express my thanks because it made my emotional recovery a lot easier... But you know what? It is hard to take care of puppies. Hahaha. ^_^
During the past weeks, I was able to do things I cannot do before. I actually read our English reading all by myself . (I'm so proud since my dad always sits by me with these.) I finally am not worrying about Prince coughing or not eating or whatever. I get loaded with tons of schoolwork, and even though if the task's herculean, I know I will make it. ^_^
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that me and 4 other Pisay people (Patrick Abarquez, Francis Infante, Homer Isidro and Joshua Lat), together with PKMNph pips went to the EXDragon Frontiers pre-release last November 5. ^_^ (Of course I need to mention Pokemon at least once in this incredibly long post.)
-KamaeLabels: reflections
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